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“There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)

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“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it is a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Knowledge quotes.
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“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Action quotes, Talent quotes.
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“Have you any idea how many kids it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen? Three. It takes one to say, "What light?" and two more to say, "I didn't turn it on."”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Children quotes, Ideas quotes.
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“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Gifts quotes.
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“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Danger quotes.
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“People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: People quotes.
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“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Death and dying quotes, Bed quotes, Order quotes.
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“Never have more children than you have car windows.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
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“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”
Erma Bombeck quotes (U.S. humorist, 1927-1996)
Similar Quotes. About: Funny quotes.
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